The fear of failure is not something that you grow out of, nor is it something that a bit of advice is going to cure. The worst thing about it all is that so-called experts always come out with well sounding nonsense.
Like dating experts that say “be more confident” as if just by saying it that it will happen. It is the equivalent of saying “be a bit taller” for all the good it does.
The same is true with fear of failure. No doubt you have already read other bits of advice saying that you should face your fears head on as if that is some sort of help. You can be scared of heights and go up a helicopter, but you will still be scared stiff when you are up there and all the way down again. This article is not going to cure you, as no article is, but it is going to be more use that most articles in this niche.
What is the worst that “could” happen if you fail?
A piece of dating advice for men that bandies around from time to time is, “The worst she can say is no.” This is actually true in the dating world, but most men think they are going to get a slap or her boyfriend is going to hit them. But, this is very, very rarely the case. In this specific example a woman is used to being approached by men and all women become experts at turning men down.
Imagine the worst case scenario and ask yourself how likely it is. Then, ask yourself if you could live with the worst case scenario. Would getting a slap be so bad? Would it not give you a funny story to tell your friends? Would getting a no change anything?
Are you walking in to the situation with expectations?
Your belief system is the cause of all your fears. They say that psychopaths do not assign emotions to events (good or bad) which is why they are capable of very maladjusted things. Have you considered that your beliefs being tied with your emotions are part of your fear?
For example, a fear of flying is a fear of the expectation of crashing. Crashing means pain and that elicits an emotional response. You take a flight and you expect pain, ergo it is your expectations that are causing the problem. When you have your fear of failure, you need to figure out your anticipations and disarm them of their emotional significance. How you do this is up to you, but you can take any method you like.
For example, if you have a fear of flying then simply accept that you may die if you get on a plane. It is not so bad if you consider that you may die if you slip in the bathtub or when you sneak downstairs at night for a glass of milk. If you accept that you have no control over your fate then any fears attached to it should disappear. After all, you are not getting on a plane with a pickaxe in your hand with the intention of digging out the floors for buried treasure. It’s not as if you are willing getting on a plane with cardboard wings either.
Remember that scene in Fight Club?
There is a scene where Brad Pitt asks the members to go out and start a fight, but they have to lose. When you hear this in the context of the movie, you suddenly see how the fear of getting into a fight goes away. Not only do you have to create a fight but you have to lose too. Knowing the outcome and is second only to controlling it, and in this situation you do both.
If you are afraid of failing, then causing failure on purpose may help you get on top of how it feels. If you get on top of how it feels then you may be able to remove its emotional ties to your psyche and may be able to remove your fear.
Practice failing and make failing your goal
It is possible to practice failing. This is not facing your fear; this is like learning to ride a bike. If it is possible for you to practice failing then you yet again remove the power that the even seems to have over you. You may practice failing so that you may release yourself from your fear.
Be scientific about failing so that you learn something each time
Let’s assume you know you are going to fail. If that is the case then make a point of learning from every single failure. Be scientific and write down things that made you fail and things that you can do to improve. Each time you try something you should try it a different way so you can record your results, your failures and successes. The more you recorded then the better off you will be.
About Author: Kate Funk is an essay writing specialist at Aussiessay.com. She is proficient in blog writing, academic essay writing and online freelance networking.
